Not the 8.30 News: the Christmas party 2024 review of the year one

Tin hats at the ready. In this Armageddon-inspired episode our newsreader lands an
an exclusive interview with Prince Andrew who claims he can’t possibly have been with the businessman-come-spy, Yang Tengbo, because he was ordering a Chinese giveaway (sorry takeaway) at Sum Phat Lie’s in Wo-king at the time. He remembers it well because he’d eaten Epstein (sorry chowmein) with porn crackers. Or just 17 as it appears on the menu.

Plus a news of remake of Wallace and Vomit starring the erstwhile Masterchef presenter and Milwall fan Greg no one likes me, I don’t care Wallace who tells us he thought innuendo was a pessary for middle class women of a certain age.

Oh and an update on just how close we all are to oblivion.


Not the 8.30 News is a segment of the Big Live Breakfast Burrito over on LinkedIn.